I'm Forever Shooting Bubbles

A couple of weeks ago, for the first time ever:

I played Bubble Shoot.

I've never possessed a Playstation. I've never been the proud owner of any form of Nintendo device whatsoever. I just this minute had to consult Google on how to spell 'Wii' (not French for 'Yes' apparently) for the purpose of writing this blog. I am a far cry away from what I would consider a computer game geek. With a superior air, I often consider myself way higher up on the intellectual ladder than the spotty oiks that while away hours behind drawn curtains, complexion slowly fading, as they strive for the ultimate utopia that can only be experienced on completion of level 23 of Mortal Kombat 57. I am one of life's great thinkers; thirsty for knowledge; a proper little culture vulture.

Pull the other one.

I have just dusted off the calculator and, if my reckoning is correct, over the past month, I have spent a grand total of 2040 minutes of my time blasting coloured balls into simthereens. Almost a day and a half; a day and a half out of the life that I frequently complain is disappearing before my eyes playing 'Bubble Shoot'. Most people try to count sheep jumping over a fence if they can't sleep. At the moment, I am prevented from sleeping by the constant stream of coloured bubbles falling from my ceiling.

I've had an iPod for years now. A necessary evil for any music aficionado forced by life style choices to cram their entire music collection onto a digital postage stamp. But when exactly this handy device mutated into my portable games console, I can't quite put my finger on. I think it may have begun with an innocent game of Sudoku which I discovered was available as a free iPod Touch application, representing a substantial saving for me, a sorry individual who had previously waded through at least two Sudoku magazines per month (yes, there are people who actually buy those - 'nerds' I think they call us). Still keeping things intellectual, I then progressed to playing the odd round of Scrabble with train buddies to kill that painfully slow 20 minutes when our beloved SNCB locomotives chug along at snail's pace between Leuven and Brussels. But when I discovered that half of my family and friends were secretly playing Pro Basketball or throwing a virtual screwed up sheet of A4 into a wire basket - Paper Toss - I felt like I must be missing out on something.

In no time at all, paperback books and music magazines were abandonded and I now find myself daydreaming that I have smaller thumbs and wondering if I can discreetly cram in a round of Bejewelled Blitz during the working day without being spotted by colleagues.

It's a bit of a shame for me really - while others delight over intricate 3D platform games, I am far more content with a classic spaceship 'let's blitz those aliens' scenario or a gentlemanly round of solitaire. The simpler the better. It could be because I grew up in the 80s or maybe due to the fact that I was an only child until the age of 10 and, before my brother came along and I had somebody to torment, I made my own fun and have thus, always been easily entertained. Bubble Shoot is perfect for me; the aim is to match similar coloured bubbles of at least 3 in a row and shoot them into oblivion before they reach the bottom of the screen and you suffocate under a sea of mean and angry bubbles. My only gripe about this game is that I'm not too keen on the version that flashes up 'Loser!' whenever your game comes to a sticky end.

Will I try it again?:
Currently trapped in the nightmare that is Level 12 (bubbles falling faster than the speed of light), I haven't slept for 48 hours.

Might as well face it I'm addicted to...
The computer games that have made me who I am today.

Tetris
Such a great theme tune that it was hardly worth playing in circumstances that required sound off. My favourite version is this one by the Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra. I never knew it had lyrics. And is that Mark Lamarr wearing shades on tenor sax?

Parapper the Rapper
The only highlight of my early twenties' post-pub evenings (I never really cared for getting stoned). Not unlike my favourite 80s toy Simon, this game involved copying a rhythm sequence. But Simon didn't involve a rappin' dog nor an animated singing onion. Don't get cocky, it's gonna get rocky...

Treasure Island
Commodore 64
Stone Age Man's computer game. Long John Silver consisted of one giant single yellow pixel with a tiny jaunty green one perched on his shoulder (parrot) and a thin brown one sticking out at the bottom (peg leg). Joystick to the right...away we go...joystick to the left...no more lives left. Frustrating beyond description, with a catchy theme tune that will live with me to the grave.

Fruit Ninja
Nothing beats the sound of the satisfying squelch of a samurai sword slicing through a watermelon.

Virtua Tennis
Dreamcast
More hours of my precious time were wasted in Virgin Megastore staff room wiping the floor with the macho security guards who had designs on The Davis Cup. With the realistic top spin mechanism, I became convinced that should the opportunity arise, I could effortlessly make mince meat out of Pete Sampras in real life and make Andre Agassi cry like a baby.