Last week, for the first time ever: I wore a Bumpit.
I am a sucker for novelty items and the first person to be drawn in by a new product claiming to be the answer to all health and beauty dilemmas. Only very recently I spent a ridiculous 8 Euros on a miracle cold sore cure which has now left me with a huge branflake in the corner of my mouth.
On a recent trip to my hometown of St Helens, my Mum caught me in the act of falling hook line and sinker for a video in Boots the Chemist promoting a revolutionary big hair product: the Bumpit. Before I squandered the £3.99 that was already half way into the hands of the cashier, my shrewd Mother informed me that the same item could be acquired from Poundland for, you guessed it, a cinch at just a quid.
I am a sucker for novelty items and the first person to be drawn in by a new product claiming to be the answer to all health and beauty dilemmas. Only very recently I spent a ridiculous 8 Euros on a miracle cold sore cure which has now left me with a huge branflake in the corner of my mouth.
On a recent trip to my hometown of St Helens, my Mum caught me in the act of falling hook line and sinker for a video in Boots the Chemist promoting a revolutionary big hair product: the Bumpit. Before I squandered the £3.99 that was already half way into the hands of the cashier, my shrewd Mother informed me that the same item could be acquired from Poundland for, you guessed it, a cinch at just a quid.
contemptuous shrieks of my fellow schoolies. I think I have also fallen into the trap of playing it safe; my hair doesn't look good long and it doesn't suit me short, so chin-length it is, with the occasional dramatic angle that keeps me from being too boring. However, in the back of my mind, I was born in the wrong era and I hanker after the days when women
painstainkingly teased their hair into fabulous beehives. I guess I have never been the same since I first saw the retro chic of Mari Wilson on Top of the Pops and will never fail to admire and envy the Bardot bouffant. On the occasion of my brother's wedding, I went the whole hog and spent the morning with my Mum's hairdresser as he coaxed my locks up into a beehive which has gone down in history at that particular establishment as being "fuckin' massive". The whole thing didn't budge for a matter of days and the CEO of Insette has now retired to the Bahamas from the proceeds of that appointment alone.
The Bumpit is a banana-shaped plastic article with teeth around the edges. The idea is to grab a section of hair, push it up with the Bumpit and then smooth it down over the top, spraying into place. Amazingly, with just a few trial runs, I managed to achieve the desired effect and it was eat your heart out Amy Winehouse. Surprisingly, the Bumpit manages to stay relatively secure and the style sleek. The amount of hairspray applied is key ("fuckin' massive") as is your planned evening activities: a night moshing on the dancefloor will have you rooting down the back of your frock for the Bumpit and would-be djettes should note that headphones are not the best accompaniment.
Mari Wilson: 80s retro icon and beekeeper...
....Massive.
Would I try it again?: Well I guess I need to get my money's worth from that quid...
3 comments:
That orange hairdo you had is forever burned on my retinas. I often tell that tale as an example of how strict our school was regarding uniform, hair, make up, etc. Loving your blog, Klur!
Fun! Do you have a picture of yourself with that thing tucked under your hair?
Yes, I think we need photographic evidence......
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